What Inside Out has done for me

        I came to Duke eight days early for Project B.U.I.L.D.  I had some incredibly difficult goodbyes the night before that left me sobbing on the floor of my room.  I still get emotional thinking about that evening and the many people that I love and miss.  Although I was having an amazing experience at pbuild, I was thinking about home and the people at home a lot.  It didn't help that I was the first one to leave, and I would hear about my friends hanging out still without me.  I called one of my very good friends a few times during the program.  One of those times, I was feeling extra emotional.  I'd had a lot of time that day to think and reflect, causing me to remember everything I missed at home.  I called him so that I could hear a familiar voice that always had the right words.  

        Him and I have discussed the merits of sadness in the past and we share very similar beliefs.  While sadness is, well, sad and tough, it is often very valuable.  Sadness that represents permanent loss is hard to spin as positive, but it is normal and expected and an important part of grieving.  Fortunately, I have had only a few occasions of this sort of sadness.  The sadness I typically experience comes from endings - the end of a few great weeks at my summer camp, the end of a great school experience, the end of a TV show that I've connected to (maybe too much), or in the case of this summer, the temporary end of the time I'd get to spend with my friends.  This sort of sadness is incredibly valuable and can be summed up by one Winnie the Pooh quote: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  This has never been more true for me than this summer, saying goodbye to my amazing friends who I was and am so lucky to have.  

        So when I called my friend, I was feeling so emotional that I could not rationalize myself to remember the value of the sadness I was feeling.  When I called him and explained how I was feeling, he reminded me of Inside Out, a movie I've only seen once but that I deeply appreciate.  Joy's struggle to try to suppress the other feelings and only allow Riley to feel happy appears to be such a noble pursuit.  Being happy all the time almost seems appealing.  Sadness, anger, fear, and disgust are not comfortable emotions, so in theory we'd be better off without them.  However, as the movie perfectly displays, those emotions are important and are necessary to guide many of our actions and to provide contrast for joy.  So my friend reminded me of this.  He reminded me of how joy and sadness fused together in Riley's core memory of missing home.  He reminded me that sadness is not void of happiness and that when I think about what I miss, I should look back on it fondly, remembering the great memories rather than focusing on the fact that I have said goodbye to them. 

        The resolution of coexistence of emotions in Inside Out is such an important idea.  Pure joy is a very rare emotion, but people believe it is the only way to be happy and live an optimal life.  Once the idea of coexistence of emotions is accepted, society will be able to live in a much healthier way.  Also in Inside Out is the important idea of talking about the uncomfortable emotions (sadness, anger, fear, disgust, etc.).  Too many people - myself often included - believe the best way to live is to bottle up any negative emotions and always put on a happy face.  If dialogue opens up about the uncomfortable emotions, people will be healthier and happier..